Conversations with Gurudev - II

A month ago, there was an intra-office tennis tournament at office which I had taken part in. I lost in the finals of the singles event. I was a little disappointed with my performance. In the evening that day I wrote to Gurudev telling him about my loss and also that I needed to work on my fitness level and stamina.

Master’s response the next day was like a breath of fresh air. He wrote - “Congratulations for letting a friend win the trophy. Congratulations once again, for going till the finals”. This kind of reply was nowhere close to what I was expecting. But it made me feel good. Master was trying to show me a different perspective, a viewpoint which in today’s extremely competitive world, I had completely forgotten. 

I learnt not to be too hard on myself.  "Enjoy the journey while it lasts !!".

Gurudev

This is one snap of Gurudev which I love!

Gurudev is forever smiling, reminding us always....that is the way to be.

Conversations with Gurudev

I remember a piece of conversation with Gurudev, during my last meeting.

Not being able to make it, for a visit to the holy place of Kailash I was a bit dejected during that time. 
I asked Master - "Gurudev, people say that one must visit holy places/shrines/ashrams every now and then as it helps in spiritual progress, but I am not being able to do so..."

He smiled and wrote ( since he was maintaining silence) - " I have no desire to go anywhere. I am travelling for others. Holy place is within ( he underlined the word within) Make your heart and mind holy"

His answer gave me immense joy. My loving Master, had put my troubled heart at ease.

Miracle at Shirdi.

The title should not be the least bit surprising to anyone who is a Sai devotee. I have not come across a single Sai believer who hasn't had some or the other miraculous experience. The incident which I am writing about, took place during my last visit to Shirdi in the year 2010, April.

Saurav and me had taken an overnight bus to Shirdi. We reached the place early in the morning. After freshening up in the guest house, we headed straight to the the temple for darshan. There was a long queue, since it was a weekend. In our hurry to get in, we forgot to buy flowers for offering to Baba. I realized this after getting inside the main temple. I felt extremely bad, but there was nothing I could do. We were in the queue now and there was no way to get out and then join back again.

Walking slowly in the line, I approached the main Samadhi place. Standing near the Samadhi, I prayed to Baba and thanked him for coming into my life. Regretting the fact that I had nothing to offer, I walked out towards the exit gate. Beyond the exit door, lies one more room which finally leads out to the open area surrounding the temple. As I walked into this outer room, one man walked upto me, holding in his hand a small basket with a garland. He held out the basket to me, and told me -"Here this is for you". Before I could react, he had thrust the basket onto my hands and left. I was speechless. I tried searching for this man, but I could not locate him in the crowd. Realizing that, Baba had just played out one of his many miracles for me to witness, I decided to sneak back in through the exit door and offer, his own offering to him. I managed to go back in successfully, without any of the security or priests noticing this. I thanked him profusely for this wonderful and memorable experience and finally made my way out of the temple.

Such experiences are not limited to Shirdi. He listens to each and everyone who calls out to him sincerely, the place does not matter. Patience and  devotion is the key.

We meet again.

The festival of Rath Yatra or the Chariot festival is a big event in Odisha. The sight, of the Lord sitting on his magnificent chariot, being pulled by thousands of devotees, is so wonderful! How can people not get drawn towards him? No wonder, folks from all over the country throng the holy city of Puri at that time.

I had heard from one of Gurudev's close devotees, that Gurudev usually stays at Puri during the time of Rath yatra. Keeping this in mind, me and my husband, planned our trip to Odisha. A day after reaching Bhubaneswar, I got to know from my Father that Gurudev was indeed in Puri. I was thrilled to hear this. We made plans to go to Puri on the 14th of July (2011), a day after Bahuda yatra.

On the above mentioned date, my parents along with me and my husband set out for Puri right after lunch. The ashram is located at Balighai, which is 20 minutes drive from Puri. After reaching Puri we headed straight for the ashram. We reached the ashram at 4:30 pm and got to know that Gurudev would be free to meet us around 5:00 pm.This was the second time that I had come to this beautiful place. On an earlier occasion, I had accompanied my Mother along with an aunt, but that time Master was traveling and hence we were not able to meet him.

There was half an hour's time in hand, so we all went to the Samadhi Mandir. This temple houses the samadhi of the great Kriya yogi - Paramahamsa Hariharananda (Gurudev's Guru). It is one of the most beautiful temples that I have seen. The place is so calm and serene that one does not have to make any effort to get into a meditative state.

Half an hour being well spent we walked up to the other side, towards the main block of the ashram. As we gradually made our way, I could soon see the veranda of the main building and there... there was my  Master! sitting on a chair, surrounded by a few folks. I was thrilled!Not wanting to waste any more time I practically jogged up to him. As I approached him, I suddenly realized that I was carrying with me a bag of fruits. Where do I put it? I don't know how Master knew, but , pointing to the bed, which was adjacent to the chair he was sitting on, he said - "You can put it there". So I put the bag on the bed and then went to him and knelt down before him. As I got up I could see Master smiling down at me, his eyes full of warmth and affection. I felt so wonderful, like a baby in the comfort of the mother's arms.

Not wanting to sit away from Master, I sat down on the floor, right in front of him. He was just an arm's length away from me and I could feel his aura engulfing me. I had been waiting for this moment for so long. Countless number of times, had I imagined, this meeting of ours in my mind. And now it was for real! and it was so perfect. My eyes welled up with emotion and I could feel a big lump in my throat as I realized that I was living presently, a much awaited moment in my life. I had no clue of what was happening around me. For me, time had frozen; and I was with my Master, alone.

My parents and my husband, Saurav were also sitting close by. This was the first time Saurav was meeting Gurudev and I was very happy about it. Master spoke to them and every now and then he would look at me, smiling. Seeing him smile, gave me this feeling of immense contentment. That is the closest I can come to, trying to put down in words my exact feeling at that point.

Master was not well. He was getting out of breath while talking and coughing every now and then. After talking to us for a while in the veranda, he asked us to come into one of the inner rooms as the veranda started getting more crowded. It was only Master and us over there. I had not spoken a word, since I met him. I was so happy just looking at him and being in his presence that I did not feel the need to talk. Gurudev seemed to have realized this, so he said -"Why don't you say something?" I had seen an interview of his on the internet where he had spoken about the time before he met his Gurudev, and in that interview he had mentioned about a dream which he had when he was still in school. I suddenly recalled this interview of his and asked him to tell us about this dream. Gurudev talked about the dream and how it had become an indicator for him, about future events in his life.

Time flew, and soon it was 6:00 pm. Since it was Guru Purnima the day after, many folks had come to the ashra, to spend time with Master and stay there for a few days. There was a discourse organized at 6:00 pm for all the visitors and Master was going to speak. He asked us also to join as part of the audience. The discourse was going to take place in the first floor hall, just above the room where we were sitting in presently.

In his talk, Gurudev spoke about the importance of meditation and also the significance of Guru Purnima. When the speech ended, I was amongst the first few people to come out of the hall, since I was sitting adjacent to the door. Fortunately for me, Master also walked out of the hall at the same time. He saw me outside and asked - " How come while delivering the talk, I had no signs of breathlessness or coughing?" He had a twinkle in his eyes as he asked me this question. I did not know what to say, I just smiled at him and he smiled back  and went down the stairs, back to the veranda where we were sitting an hour ago. As I saw him going down, I had a feeling like that of a young kid, when he/she is taken away from the mother. I hurried downstairs, realizing that the next few moments might be the last few with Master, as far as the present visit for concerned.

Standing at the entrance of the main block, Master was seeing off folks who had come to hear his talk. He had a basket of fruits with him and he was handing over the fruits to the people as they came up to him to take his blessings before leaving. He saw Saurav come down the stairs and he called out to him -"Saurav Baba! Come Come." We all went up to him and received those fruits as prasad from him. He then hugged my Father and then Saurav. He told Saurav - "I am genuinely happy to see you. Do not think these are mere words. I really mean them. I want to see you often". I was thrilled to hear this. I touched his feet and internally prayed  that I get to meet him again very soon. With mixed feelings I started walking away towards the main gate, turning back every now and then to look at my loving Master whom I was leaving behind.

Before our second meeting

Gurudev was true to his words; He did indeed respond to my emails every now and then. Initially I would write to him once in a month or two. But gradually over a period of one year or so, the frequency of my writing to him increased. And then, there came a time, when I wrote to him once a week.I realized, I derived a lot of joy, writing to him and then eagerly waiting for him to reply.The feeling is very much the same even today. I check my inbox every hour to see if Master has replied.

My emails to him would mostly contain, the day to day happenings in my life. There were never any personal questions like asking him about where he was or about his travel plans etc. I realized over time that I could write to him about anything and everything without the fear of being judged or ridiculed. I could also write to him about my personal problems, seeking solution or help, but that I never did. I never felt like doing it.

His replies would always make me immensely happy. Gurudev's email would always start with "Loving Pallavi" or "my Loving Pallavi". No one had ever addressed me that way. How wonderful it was!I loved it. His emails would always end with this statement - "Praying for you ". This line really struck me, initially. "Surely, only a Mother can care for her child this way" - I thought. My love and respect for him increased manifold. Here was a person, who had met me only once, for hardly a few minutes. But he would always make me feel that there was much more to it.

Many a times, his emails would ask me to spend time praying and meditating daily. I could never say No to him. So I started making a conscious effort to spend some time everyday, meditating. It wasn't easy, it still isn't in fact. I was new to this. "How does one meditate? What am I supposed to after closing my eyes?" - I wondered. I asked him for a guidance. And the reply came - " Close your eyes and concentrate on your breath".Before, I was never regular with my evening prayer, thanks to my erratic office timings. But gradually, I made it a habit and I came to realize that I actually enjoyed these activities and would try and spend more time doing them. Daily prayer and meditation made me calmer and stable. It helped me beat the stress of a hectic life.

Soon a year had passed by.My longing to meet Gurudev again was increasing with every passing day.
"The first time I met him, I did not even have the faintest idea that he was my Master! And now that I know it for a fact, wont you let me meet him again GOD?!" It took a while, but my prayers were answered. I did meet him the next year in the month of July, just a few days before Guru Purnima.

How I met my Master

The year was 2010 and the month was January. It was the second week of that month. I was at Cuttack then, with my parents. Gurudev had also come to Cuttack for a few days for his annual discourses on The Gita.

During that time I was doing the Seven Thursdays vrata of Shirdi Sai. I had absolutely no clue that Baba had such a wonderful gift in store for me. It took me, well over a year actually to figure it out.

So one fine and blessed morning, my Mother told me that we all should go and get Gurudev's darshan. My parents had already met him before and my mother was very keen that I should seek his blessings as well. I did not think too much about it and wasn't very interested in going. I remember that day, during my morning prayer telling Sai Baba this - " I consider you my Guru. I am going, only to make Mother happy".

We reached the place sometime around 11:00 am, which was the time given to us. The building was a popular function palace. It had been rented out for a few days for the above mentioned event. We were ushered in, to one of the inner rooms where Gurudev was sitting. There was also an old lady present in the room with him. She was a disciple and also a family friend of ours. I remember the smiling face of Master welcoming us, as we entered the room. He asked us to sit down on the vacant chairs in front of him. We did as we were told.

He talked to my parents for a while. My mother told him about me, and asked him to bless me. I went and touched his feet. He asked me my name and what I did. I told him I work at Hyderabad. Hearing about Hyderabad, he told us about a family in Hyderabad who were known to him and he usually stayed at their place whenever he visited Hyderabad.

I don't remember having any other piece of conversation with him that day. The old lady was quite talkative though. She was obviously, very happy to have got time to spend in Baba's company.

Soon, it was time for us to leave. But just before that, Baba surprised me by asking me to give him my email address. He looked at my parents and said - " You see this is the age of internet, and this is the only way to be in touch with the younger generation". There was an Oriya newspaper lying on the table in front of him. He asked me to put down the address in the margin which had some free space. I still remember what I was thinking while writing down my email id - " Is he serious? Does he know how to check email?" . He looked at me then and said - "Do keep writing to me. I may not reply always, but I will surely read all your emails"

We all arose to leave. I went to him and touched his feet and he blessed me saying - " Be Successful". There was a plate of fruits in front of him. He asked me to pick up one before I leave. I was a bit confused as to which one to choose. Ultimately I decided on taking a grape, and I picked it up. He smiled and saw us off.

We reached home within 10 minutes. I went to check my office email, as I was awaiting some important message. I hadn't got any, so I opened my personal email account and saw a new email which had come just 5 minutes back. It was from Master!! I was pleasantly surprised to find an email from Gurudev and that oo within minutes of meeting him. It was unbelievable!

 He had written in the mail that he was very happy to have met me and he wanted me to keep in touch with him. He also wrote that he was praying for me and my family. I was touched by this gesture and I mentally promised  to write to him regularly.

So that was it and unfortunately for me, that day, I had no clue what a life altering day it had been. It took sometime, to sink in and for me to figure out that, SaiBaba had given me the biggest and the most wonderful gift  of my life that day.

Shirdi Sai Baba

My Spiritual life was, truly speaking, non-existent before my first visit to Shirdi.Sai Baba's life and teachings have played a major role in shaping my spiritual beliefs. He led a life of such simplicity that still amazes me. Sai Baba was a great spiritual teacher. Though he rarely stepped out of Shirdi, his influence spread far and wide.

I along with my parents, went to Shirdi for the first time in the year 2002. It was my summer break after my first year of engineering. Up until that time I had not heard much about Sai Baba.

We first got Baba's darshan at the evening aarti. Never before had I seen such a crowd at any temple singing aloud in unison and with so much faith and devotion. It was a deeply moving experience for me. But this was nothing compared to what was in store for me at the morning aarti!

The morning aarti took me to a whole new level. I did not know what was happening and I have till date not been able to put my feelings in words and I know better than to waste time trying to do that now. I was so overwhelmed that I had tears in my eyes and they just would'nt stop! It was unusual for me. Earlier, on several occassions I had seen my mother teary eyed at temples and I had wondered how could one get emotional while praying?

Before leaving the temple that day, I bought for myself the "Sai Satcharitra"; his biography written by one his close devotee Shri Dabholkar. It gives one a very good account of Baba's teachings and the way he led his life.

This book opened up a whole new world for me. I understood the difference between religion and spirituality. Until then I was made to think that the rituals and elaborate puja that one does alone, shows ones devotion towards the Lord. His teachings will tell you, this isn't true and I was so relieved to learn this. A heart full of love, devotion and unwavering faith pay a greater role in ones spiritual journey.

Sai Baba helped me get answers to several questions and doubts that I had about a lot of things; things related to my day to day life included. Answers came to me in the form of experiences, situations, books that suddenly came my way and dreams that I had. I have been to Shirdi many times after my visit in 2002 and each time I have had some amazing experiences. And over the years I have realized that it is not just Shirdi, one can feel his presence anywhere, if one calls out to him sincerely.

I bow to this great Master and pray that his blessings
always be upon us.

Does God exist ?

Frankly this question has hardly ever occurred to me. As a child and during my growing up years, I was always surrounded by people who were believers. So GOD's existence was always a fact. It was something indisputable! It was only in college that I came across so called atheists. And now I have met several of them. It seems like the most "in" thing today doesn't it?

Being born in an age when Science has made such progress its natural that one's thinking and beliefs are also shaped by proofs and not mere faith. Hence I understand that I may be an object of ridicule. I might also run the risk of being and sounding "uncool" to the present generation. But I guess I have still chosen to sound ridiculously uncool and let GOD be. Science has always been about proof, but God is all about faith.

To quote a very great yogi, Mahavtar Babaji - " When one can see, there is nothing to believe"